COMFORT MY MOM
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|| Thursday, March 30, 2006 ||A SORT OF GOODBYE
Thankfully, Pyro hasn't succumbed yet to his disease. But he and his Mom are moving out of my parents' home... and living with his Mom's parents. Partly because there's tension at home and partly because his Mom's mother wants to help care for Py...
So, it's going to be a goodbye. Gone will be the days when i'd see and hear and breathe him everyday. Gone will be the times when he'd be making lambing and joining me in my bed, or at the other house. Soon, he may not be so enamored of his Ninong (my hubby) and be closer with his other Ninong (his uncle) instead. Soon, the treats I used to offer to him first will have to be sent to him via my brother.
Yes, he'd have playmates there. But I cringe at the possibility that he'd be eating more junk food and drinking softdrinks with his cousins, kids who aren't sick like him (or judgmentally on my part, kids whose parents don't love their kids enough to steer them away from junk food). Good luck to my nephew's kidneys then. Oh ok, maybe I should have a little more faith that my sis-in-law will stick to a healthy diet for him because his doctors have already advised them so.
Hay. I don't even want to dwell on it because I know i'd be crying a lot. It has to be enough that I loved him before, and that I love him still, and that we'd forever love him and pray for him... and visit him from time to time.
His next chemo treatment is slated for April 16. Easter Sunday.
Lately he hasn't been eating as much as he used to. I can't help but be paranoid that the new growth might be overpowering his systems again.
Hay. Have I already mentioned that this new growth seems to be growing downwards this time? Before... it grew right-wards and cramped his right lung (because it grew to the size of his lung).
We don't want another surgery. Honestly, it's not really fun to spend some P200k to have a child you love opened up, traumatized so early by things he can't really grasp yet.
But then again, I can't say that I have a full grasp of the situation myself. I understand how this isn't personal... and if others can lose years, fortunes and lives to cancer, why can't we, right?
Still... everything can't help but become personal when it happens to YOU, or someone you really, really, really LOVE.
By the way...
if you are seeking medical information, or answers to health-related questions... check the following out :)
Doc Emer's Medical Blog
- a medical doctor directs you to significant literature and studies, shares his opinions, gives general warning/medical advice in the hope that Pinoys will take better care of themselves
- a directory of doctors and dentists in over 90 specialties in the Philippines and is free to use by the general public.RxPinoy also has an online facility called Ask-a-Doc, where anyone on the net can ask health-related questions FOR FREE from any of over a hundred volunteer doctors, dentists and other health professionals, including pharmacists and psychologists.
RX Pinoy: MyHealth
- a community blog of stories from people about staying well
RX Pinoy: Technophyte
- whose purpose is to figure out how technology can be used to improve the terribly inefficient exchange of information between patients, doctors and the medical industry.
|| Thursday, March 16, 2006 ||PYRO'S SUCH A BLESSING
I expected a weepy, needy boy reduced to tears and lethargy, but Py returned home with his usual cheerfulness and energy, it's hard not to hug him and smile.
Still, he has moments of weakness. He's also very pale, and requires IM shots which my sister has begun administering to him yesterday. I asked my sis if Py cried when she did that, and she said "OF COURSE, HE CRIED. BUT HE LOVES ME SO IT'S OK"
On a more hopeful note, my sis-in-law decided to go into the business of selling homemade chocolates. It's not really going to bring in a lot of money, but it's still a fun way to be earning extra while she's not doing gigs.
Pray we sell a lot of them pls? :)
used Carpenter ICG, Calvin & Hobbes and LCR Prestigious Teddies fonts (pic taken just last night)
|| Tuesday, March 14, 2006 ||MORE STRUGGLES AHEAD
Found out the 'hard' way that Py might require another surgery. It seemed, what couldn't be possibly removed by surgery and what should have been reacting to chemo treatments resulted in another tumor growing.
To say that i'm devastated will be putting it mildly.
To say that my brother is enraged will be an understatement too.
And my nephew will be returning home today, all weakened by the stronger cocktail administed to him, reduced again to a crying, needy boy.
And right now, though I acknowledge the presence of family and friends who are just as supportive and prayerful... I am left numb and wandering inside.
And I pray for guidance how to see my family through this. For we have to stay and stand together to really help this child.
Py, it's Lolo's birthday today. He loves you very much.
|| Friday, March 10, 2006 ||ANOTHER CHEMO SESSION
Py leaves home again today for another chemo session. But he's really come a long way in accepting his 'fate', aware that he'd being hospitalized the following day and not acting up about it.
Resigned. Is that good or bad?
I put some blessed oil from the Sto. Niño devotion my MIL goes to, where her only petition is Pyro's recovery, on my nephew while he chatted us away with pleas to put nail polish on his toes (err... he grew up with more women than men around). He allowed us to kiss and hug and smother him all night. He insisted I feed him ice cream... and wouldn't eat anything offered by my sis.
Haaay. We really, really love him.
And i'm trying so hard to temper my frustration with his doctors... with his illness.
After all, for all intents and purposes, he's developing as usual.
(inspired by Aggie's latest layout) Used Joycards, NipandTuck and A Yummy Apology fonts