COMFORT MY MOM
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LEAVE KIND WORDS
|| Thursday, December 27, 2007 ||A YEAR AGO TODAY
... i was awakened by the incessant ringing of my phone, only to hear your father crying at the other end of the line, pleading for me to come because you're not looking so good in the hospital.
Around five hours after, you took your last breath.
Three hundred and sixty four days later, our hearts are still breaking from losing you.
And yet, today I find that because of you, there are a lot of people to be thankful for.
Your doctors (Dr. Gepte, Gonzales and Ong) who did their best. Dr. Barias who tried to help.
Friends... your father's and mother's, mine and your godfather's, your godmother's and your godparents'.
And all your aunts and uncles have been lovely.
And all the people who were touched by your short life.
And the courage your parents displayed.
And the grace we all had to be sad and yet find something beautiful in the experience.
You brought so many new people and friends into our lives. You brought your family together like never before.
Hopefully, your death will also make your parents better versions of themselves... by choosing more wisely, investing more wisely, and living with more love. I wish for them to honor your memory by becoming better, more responsible parents to your future siblings.
Because I know I and your godfather are... after having known you, after learning from you.
The best came for you when you left us. I believe that.
The best is yet to come for all of us left behind, if we claim it.
|| Tuesday, December 25, 2007 ||MERRY CHRISTMAS, DARLING
I sat where your Mom sat with you last Christmas, right in the front pew. And I held your cousin in my arms and couldn't help the tears that came... the irony of going to Midnight Mass with a dying child last year, and going to Midnight Mass with a thriving child this year isn't lost on me.
And when the priest called on the people to line up to kiss the Sto. Niño, I understood why your father had to turn away.
But know what, baby, it was brave of your parents to come to Lipa... they must be remembering your last days so much these days. And it was brave of them to attend Mass.
And i'm sure, they'd be braver still as they give your baby brother a better life than the one they envisioned for you. Not because they'd love this new baby more... but because they've learned from mistakes, from others, from life. And because the circle of life and love continues... and they must move forward, not just for their sake, or for this new baby's sake... but to honor you as well.
Christmas isn't the same without you.
Then again, we were privileged to have loved and been loved by you... so there is still much to be thankful for.