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|| Monday, March 26, 2007 ||


Several nights ago, I finally thought to use the nebulizer I once lent to my brother for Py's use. There, where you store the tubing, was the set Py used.

I broke down in tears, thinking that the mouthpiece might still have some of Pyro still... I couldn't throw it away.

And then there are the dreams of my SIL's new baby... always resembling Py, always morphing into Py, always suffering from what Py suffered from in the end. Hay. My sister is getting all the more alarmed that my SIL's baby will look like Py nga and she really doesn't like that.

And then I'd hear Py's yaya tell of how my brother would always be sporting puffy eyes, swollen from crying all the time in their bedroom when he comes home from work.

I know my SIL cries for him still... which is aggravating all her pregnancy symptoms...

It's the little things and the minutest associations... like hearing how breastfed babies are less likely to suffer from leukemia and lymphoma at the breastfeeding workshop we attended, seeing a Spongebob seat at Tiendesitas, the Light Expo at Roxas Blvd, Star City...

When am alone, I can sometimes expect him to really appear and call to me in that sweet, naglalambing voice of his...

I miss him.

We miss him.

Tomorrow, he'd have been gone for three months already... life has went on for us, yes, but he was such a big part of our life that it's still hard accepting that we've forever lost him.


Before, he used to comment "Si Tita Mec, buntis" when he sees my tummy... now that I am pregnant, it hurts that he's not around for the real thing. I'd have loved him touching my belly...


I guess one can just imagine how painful it really is for his parents... I always wish that they can cope with their grief better because their new child deserves as much expectant joy as Pyro received...

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