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|| Monday, June 05, 2006 ||


I don't know what time exactly he'd be operated on today, but am guessing he's already at the O.R. being prepped.

I've just finished texting friends and family again, people with busy lives and problems of their own, to pause for a while and say a little prayer for my beloved nephew. I know I won't be disappointed.

I trust his surgeon to do everything to make sure he survives this. And after all that he's been through, i'm not as scared anymore that he'll make it through the surgery (that, or am in denial). But the bigger question is: Will this be the turning point for the better days? Will we beat his cancer this time?


I got to touch his cancer. Well, sort of. See, the new growth is at the same area, but it grew downwards. And all the delays in the lab tests and scheduling made sure the tumor will grow aggressively yet again. And last Friday, when we visited Py to bring him the gelatin I make that he loves, I touched the protruding part of his chest where the tumor lies.

And when I say 'protruding', it's like a bone dislocated or broken at your arm... you can actually touch it and feel its shape.


I'm told that Py says the same prayer over and over. God, I pray You'll grant him his wish.


I painstakingly learned to create photo slides ala AVP for him, with songs like God Only Knows, Just the Way You Are, All You Need Is Love, Baby Love, Somewhere Out There and Tulog Na... featuring mostly his baby pictures (except for Tulog Na because that would seem morbid so I just got pictures off the internet of babies and animals sleeping).

I honestly thought it would delight Py.

But I felt it made him feel depressed... because he just watched it quietly, perched in my sister's arms. And you can see in his eyes that somewhere in that baby mind of his, wheels are turning and some things were too big for him yet to express.

I made sure not to include pics of him without his hair (and generally used pics of him up to 2 years of age)... and now am thinking if that was a mistake or not.


He's still cute you know. I felt that he was a little warm so his yaya got his digital thermometer. While my sis and cousins were playing 1-2-3 pass with his cousins (he'd sometimes mess with them by shouting 1-2-3-4-5 ting-ting-ting ala boxing/wrestling)... I got his temp.

I got sidetracked and didn't notice the beep but he did. He matter-of-factly removed the thermometer and told me, "Tapos na. 36"

:) His temp was 37.35 degrees Centigrade.

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