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|| Tuesday, May 30, 2006 ||


Papa Jesus, sana po galing na ako
sana din po, bigyan nyo na ako ng buhok, thank you. Amen.

Unfortunately for my nephew, he still hasn't undergone the surgery his doctors say is necessary for the cancer.

And I am seriously, seriously frustrated with all of them right now. It's been over 6 precious weeks since his last chemo. Lab tests, check-ups and surgery kept getting postponed because one or the other of his 3 doctors (or some other doctor to perform the CT scan) are out-of-town. I know Py also had an on-and-off fever and some colds... but it feels like it doesn't even bother them... or suggest to them that it's the tumor going stronger yet again that's causing the fevers.

I've been pestering my brother for weeks now... and all they can say is that yet another doctor was unavailable... and then Pyro got sick na nga. What I don't understand is why the doctors cannot refer my nephew to someone else (surely, they're not the only competent ones?)... even just to get all the lab work done and advice us on what other tests should be done... I understand that his surgeon is the Head of TCVS at PCMC and is probably the best, but he's been back for over 2 weeks now and Py still hasn't returned to the O.R.

And yet they're all the ones who told us that TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE... worse, TIME IS OUR ENEMY. I understand all the tests and consultations they do are necessary to lead to informed decisions... but surely, if they were such experts, those can be done in less than a month? Surely, those things can be coordinated in less time?

I am well aware that any surgery poses risks... what more, the surgery Py is scheduled to have for the second time. And yet, I am more scared that we're letting the tumor get the better of this kid because we're not dealing with it more vigilantly. And shouldn't his doctors be the first to be vigilant? They're supposed to know better, by virtue of training and experience, to handle such things... is this really their best effort?

I believe my brother and SIL are not being demanding and exacting enough. But I can't exactly blame them since this is most personal for them.

And yet, even they don't matter. What matters is there's a new tumor growing inside my nephew... and after 7 months of hell, we still can't see how it will all end for him.


It's cute, how Py would ask for hair. But it's also very tragic... instinctively he knows that growing hair again would mean he's 'normal' again, just another one of the noisy boys in the country looking forward to birthdays and trips to the Zoo.


God, we know You have a plan. It's frustrating that we don't know, but we hope that it is Your will to allow Pyro to get better soon. Please, allow Pyro to be better soon. Let this surgery be the last, and the 4 chemo sessions be the last. Let Pyro have a childhood he can enjoy. Let Pyro grow up to lead a long, healthy, inspiring life.

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