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|| Friday, December 16, 2005 ||A ROCK AND A HARD PLACE
... or being caught between the devil and the deep blue sea.
Or a case of damned if you do, damned if you don't.
Talk about crossroads.
Pyro is undergoing his 3rd chemo treatment. And he's registering bad reactions again... he's back to not eating and being thoroughly traumatized.
Dr. Gepte (oncologist) wants the removal of the tumor asap. First, to reduce the cancer stage to Stage 1. Second, to eliminate most of the 'enemies'. Third, because it seems Py's cancer is very agressive, and all the chemo is doing is controlling the growth of the tumor/reducing the tumor size, but not killing the cancer itself. Fourth, the side effects of the treatments are endagering Py's vital organs already, making him weaker for the operation he MUST have, sooner or later.
Dr. Ong (pulmonologist) and Dr. Gonzales (surgeon) wants to make sure first that the tumor has been reduced to an operable size before they cut Pyro open. Both feel the reduced tumor size isn't enough, and the location of the cancer really critical. See, if Py gets opened up and Dr. Gonzales will only find that it will be more damaging to remove the tumor... he'd have to stitch Pyro up again, and this time, the kid will be more uncomfortable.
There's also that damnening fact that Py has to be 'fattened; up before he can continue with more chemo sessions, or before he could be operated on. But fattening him up also translates to getting his tumor fortified.
The doctors are now consulting with each other to give us options and discuss with us the risks... and then they'd be meeting with us.
Where are you going?
Where are we headed?
We're all praying hard these days... for Py, for the people in charge of him.
It's kinda sh!tty too, to have him unable to enjoy the Christmas lights and shows everywhere... how he hasn't been to the mall for 2 months now... how he has been longing to see a fountain!
There'd be a fountain where am getting married.
And there'd be a fountain where am having my reception.
But eventhough the doctors gave their GO SIGNAL to have him attend as HONORARY BEST MAN... I left the decision to my brother and SIL... whatever they think is best for Pyro.
The wedding won't be as happy without him... or them... in the family pictures. But it's ok, if the absence would save his life somehow.
But again there's that thought... what if he doesn't make it? Wouldn't we regret not giving him the chance to camwhore himself to infinity on that day... and strut his stuff in an orange barong as was originally planned?
If you know you could lose a child anytime... do you really draw lines up to where and how you can make him happy?